Most waste-of-time movie?
It hurts to even think about it because this particular film didn't just waste my time but it also disgraced and desecrated a Marvel, I repeat, MARVEL comic character. I never thought that something so horribly made would actually be in any way involved with one of the most prestige comic book publishers ever.
Anywho, I'd have to say that my most waste-of-time movie ever is The Punisher.
It started out fairly well, introducing our main character The Punisher a.k.a. Frank Castle (played by Thomas Jane) as one of the best undercover cops in the force. We first see him finish his last undercover job ever which involves the death of a highly influential mob boss's son.
From then on, the rest of the characters' introduction were either omitted or poorly done. There were several instances a new significant character would pop up and the audience had to guess who they might be.
It also took it's sweet time to get to the climax which didn't even seem that climactic. How Castle played out his plan on revenge on Howard Saint (played by John Travolta) who mass-murdered Castle's entire family as his own revenge for the death of his son as seen in Castle's last mission had a major lack of action. In fact, Saint suddenly looked more like a pathetic middle-aged man making me wonder how on earth did someone like him get to have so much power? One bullet to the leg and he's on the ground grovelling and desperately crawling away for safety.
Editing was also terrible, too. Maybe the filmakers were just being humorous? Whatever their intentions were, it was totally unclear turning the movie into a flop. Even if they were being humorous, it turned out to be a little too cheery for an adaptation of what is considered as one of the darkest comic books ever. Also, transitions of one scene to the next would constantly have no relevance to each other, again confusing the audience.
What disgraces this comic book the most is the script. THE SCRIPT. Oh Lord, it hurts having to remember those out-of-character and unbearably unrealistic lines. I mean, would a ruthless henchman really say after torturing some punk who gave away the fact that he was helping The Punisher but gallantly refused to give away his whereabouts, "I guess he didn't know.", shrug and then walk away just like that?! And why did the punk make it so obvious in the first place? It would've saved everyone a great deal of pain! Jeez, people...
Or that other scene when Howard Saint's series of hitmen each failed to kill Castle and he says, "Call the Russian." or "Get me the Sicilian." Ooooh, scary indeed. Or lines like, "It's your duty to make Castle dead!"
Make. Castle. Dead? Make him dead? MAKE CASTLE DEAD?! Don't even--no, just stop me from cursing the world to damnation.
I'll have to give a little credit though to John Travolta and Thomas Jane for using their great talents to deliver those lines quite well that they didn't seem so bad. And also for that one itty bitty scene that had an actually-cool-but-still-predictable line, "Howard Saint's going to f*ck up your life." then The Punisher goes, "He already f*cked up my life." Oh yes. Cool. Alright? There.
I guess the only thing that saved this movie from going straight to Hell is the cast. John Travolta who can play the ultimate villain you'd love to hate (Remember Face Off? Ow yes...), and Thomas Jane who'll tear out your heart with a single facial expression that begs for your sympathy... and maybe love. Two great actors, who wouldn't resist?
And also, those Marvel fans who have devoted themselves to watching (and maybe even collecting) every Marvel comic adaptation the film industry decides to produce. Or those other fans that have decided that Marvel is a good enough reason to watch. I know I was one of them. Heavy sigh.
And well, alright. I'll give it one last bit of credit. I'll have to admit that it DID win one award: Best Fire Stunt. Ooooh. Accomplished indeed.
It hurts to even think about it because this particular film didn't just waste my time but it also disgraced and desecrated a Marvel, I repeat, MARVEL comic character. I never thought that something so horribly made would actually be in any way involved with one of the most prestige comic book publishers ever.
Anywho, I'd have to say that my most waste-of-time movie ever is The Punisher.
It started out fairly well, introducing our main character The Punisher a.k.a. Frank Castle (played by Thomas Jane) as one of the best undercover cops in the force. We first see him finish his last undercover job ever which involves the death of a highly influential mob boss's son.
From then on, the rest of the characters' introduction were either omitted or poorly done. There were several instances a new significant character would pop up and the audience had to guess who they might be.
It also took it's sweet time to get to the climax which didn't even seem that climactic. How Castle played out his plan on revenge on Howard Saint (played by John Travolta) who mass-murdered Castle's entire family as his own revenge for the death of his son as seen in Castle's last mission had a major lack of action. In fact, Saint suddenly looked more like a pathetic middle-aged man making me wonder how on earth did someone like him get to have so much power? One bullet to the leg and he's on the ground grovelling and desperately crawling away for safety.
Editing was also terrible, too. Maybe the filmakers were just being humorous? Whatever their intentions were, it was totally unclear turning the movie into a flop. Even if they were being humorous, it turned out to be a little too cheery for an adaptation of what is considered as one of the darkest comic books ever. Also, transitions of one scene to the next would constantly have no relevance to each other, again confusing the audience.
What disgraces this comic book the most is the script. THE SCRIPT. Oh Lord, it hurts having to remember those out-of-character and unbearably unrealistic lines. I mean, would a ruthless henchman really say after torturing some punk who gave away the fact that he was helping The Punisher but gallantly refused to give away his whereabouts, "I guess he didn't know.", shrug and then walk away just like that?! And why did the punk make it so obvious in the first place? It would've saved everyone a great deal of pain! Jeez, people...
Or that other scene when Howard Saint's series of hitmen each failed to kill Castle and he says, "Call the Russian." or "Get me the Sicilian." Ooooh, scary indeed. Or lines like, "It's your duty to make Castle dead!"
Make. Castle. Dead? Make him dead? MAKE CASTLE DEAD?! Don't even--no, just stop me from cursing the world to damnation.
I'll have to give a little credit though to John Travolta and Thomas Jane for using their great talents to deliver those lines quite well that they didn't seem so bad. And also for that one itty bitty scene that had an actually-cool-but-still-predictable line, "Howard Saint's going to f*ck up your life." then The Punisher goes, "He already f*cked up my life." Oh yes. Cool. Alright? There.
I guess the only thing that saved this movie from going straight to Hell is the cast. John Travolta who can play the ultimate villain you'd love to hate (Remember Face Off? Ow yes...), and Thomas Jane who'll tear out your heart with a single facial expression that begs for your sympathy... and maybe love. Two great actors, who wouldn't resist?
And also, those Marvel fans who have devoted themselves to watching (and maybe even collecting) every Marvel comic adaptation the film industry decides to produce. Or those other fans that have decided that Marvel is a good enough reason to watch. I know I was one of them. Heavy sigh.
And well, alright. I'll give it one last bit of credit. I'll have to admit that it DID win one award: Best Fire Stunt. Ooooh. Accomplished indeed.
